Raising My Grandchildren

Let it be known that in today's society that many children are being raised by their grandparents.  How is this fair?  How are we suppose to enjoy our lives after we did our part to raise our own?

Let's face it, we are not as young as we once were and the thought of going through this whole process again scares the hell out of us.  I'm talking changing diapers, waking up in the middle of the night, and chasing toddlers around. Come on, we already raised ours!!  Let's not forget that if the parents don't step up before to long, we are going to have to put them through school. REALLY?

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my grandchildren with all my heart. There is nothing I would not do for them but raising them takes on a whole new meaning.  What happened to let me spoil them and send them home?  Unfortunately, that doesn't exist anymore. The reason being that most parents today are losing their kids to abuse, neglect, or drug use.

Let's elaborate on the drug usage.  Far more children are being taken because of this reason.  The parents are so out of control that not only are their children suffering but their families as well.  I, myself, am living this nightmare.  I am raising my two grandsons due to drugs.   I have four children of my own, to which all but one are over the age of 18.  My grandsons are one and three.  It's like I'm starting over.  It's not the child's fault.  That I am very aware of  but how on earth can so many children be put out because of drugs? What in the world has happened to our society?

I would think that if I were to take a poll at this time,, thousands of grandparents would come forth and tell you the same story as mine.  My child is an addict and I am taking on their responsibility as a parent.  Not just their children but their financial part as well.  We have to play grandparent/parent.  It's not fair to the child or the grandparent.  Grandparents all across our great nation have had to change their whole lives to rear these children.  Most I'm sure have probably had to come out of retirement, take on part-time jobs and seek some sort of help to help with the aid of their grandchildren.

It's a very sad and cruel world that we live in.  To think being raised to grow up, get jobs, and raise a family and see that our children did the same is no longer an option.  Instead what we were taught, the family values, have all been thrown out the window into a world we no longer recognize.  A world so sadistic that one generation is being swallowed into it.  How unfortunate.

I sometimes feel so alone in this matter until I look around and realize that so many grandparents are going through the same thing.  I know this sounds bad but sitting in the court room and seeing others somehow makes me feel better. I shouldn't say better, I should say "joined in an unwanted situation" because even though we are not alone, we don't want to be here either.  The feelings that overtake you are phenomenal.  You are scared, anxious, nervous, bombarded, and just feel "dumped on".  To say anyone truly accepts this is an understatement.  We are a generation of freedom.  Free to travel and do whatever we want.  At least we thought.

Where is the justice in all this?  You can send them to rehab and recovery for their addictions but the damage has already been done.  The kids are tossed about like rag dolls and the grandparents are tossed in a sea of craziness. So even if, and only if, they recover and rebuild their lives can the damage start to heal and repair itself.  From what I have seen, it is very rare.   I would love for every child, parent, and grandparent to have their lives restored but let's face the facts, this can't happen to all of them because so many lives have already been lost. That my friends is the reality.

As I stated above, my daughter is an addict.  I am raising my grandchildren. This is not our first rodeo. She recovered, got an apartment, and a job,  only to reconnect with  the children's father (whom is also an addict) and together they let everything she worked so hard to achieve fly right out the window.  So here we go again.  At what point do we say enough already?  Like I said before, I love these boys and would give them the world but what part of my (our) world do get?

IF you are a grandparent and are raising your grandchildren, please know that you ARE NOT alone. You are in my thoughts and prayers that one day your lives (all included) will return to the normalcy that we once knew.

 

Intended

Sitting here thinking

Instead of out drinking

How could things be different

And how my life got so bent

It sure isn't what I intended

And I'm really offended

By everyday living

That wasn't so giving

I dreamed of bigger things

And not just diamond rings

But happiness and love

From the man above

Sometimes I think he doesn't like me

Even after I get down on my knee

For nothing ever turns out right

But yet I still fight

I do believe I'm a good person

Even if I'm not the one chosen

To be great on this earth

And more than I'm worth

For you see

I'm just me

A human in disguise

Behind my sad eyes

Making Memories

Children are very fragile human beings. It is up to their parents to see that they have what they need. You know make sure their fed, clothed, and taught. However, it is also imperative to give them happy memories.

It's my belief that children benefit better when they have a good strong family that supports them and loves them. Therefore, making memories to last a lifetime will inspire them to grow with love and passion. They will truly grow up understanding what family is about.

It's truly a blessing in today's world to have a family.  To have people around you that love and care about you.  People that can be there for you no matter what life throws at you.  Parents have the responsibility to make this happen for their children.

Make happy memories with your kids. Show them life can be more than hardship and turmoil.  Especially show them love. These things are important not only for their future but their children's future.

Community Generousity

So this church came to my apartments to help with thanksgiving dinner, Suzanne White Roberts, the boys and I walked over to the community center, there was singing and it was a really cool little set up. I got a 16lb turkey, stuffing, corn, green beans, mashed potatoes and a red velvet cake mix with butter cream icing. Also, they did a raffle and I won a $15 gift card to Frischs. Feeling pretty blessed today. I think the boys and I may be going to church in the morning. :)

What a great thing communities do for their own. I was there to witness the testimony of God, grace, and humanity.

I have never been a part of something like this before. It was wonderful to see people go out of their way, that don't have to, to make sure others have a wonderful holiday. Just seeing this makes my Thanksgiving more meaningful.  I am so thankful for these kind people for seeing that people in need have a wonderful dinner.

The young lady that shared this story to social media is a recovering addict.  I have seen her go from deaths door to tears of graciousness in a record amount of time.  She may not be rich in monetary means but she is rich with the blessings God has in store for her.  She has turned her life around, got custody of her two beautiful boys back and works a full time job.  She doesn't own a car, when need be she will walk those boys to daycare,(where she has to cut through the woods on a trail due to location and no sidewalks), so she can catch a bus to get to work.  If that isn't determination, I don't know what is. I am proud to call her my daughter. So to see people come and give her hope is something I am truly thankful for.

I know we would like to believe that poverty in our great nation doesn't exist, but it does.  Please keep this in mind, if there is anything you can do for anyone, please do.  You will be truly rewarded in ways you can't imagine.

Butting Heads

What is it about our children?  Seems like the older they get the more you butt heads.  They think they are always right and find anyway possible to try to prove you wrong on all counts.

Little do they know, they did not create the rules to life.  They like to think they did but the joke is on them. They are not the first to break those rules either.  Kids have been doing whatever they can get by with for generations.  They think that if they sneak and do something without getting caught they have won the battle. Trouble is, there is no battle.

The only victory is that they see they are accountable for everything they do.  Life is all about consequences, paying the price for what is ultimately right. Unfortunately, not all kids understand this. They aren't taught that.  In today's society, there are no consequences.  How terrible is that?  Kids running rampant until they are forced to grow up.

Bad thing, where does that leave their children? Their future?  I pray everyday that all the head butting I have done over the years pays off and my children understand that life is what you make it.  Not what you can get by with.

 

Daily Prompt: Second Thoughts

via

I've tried to write this twice
So I guess I should take my own advice
If it's that hard to choose
You just might lose

There's always another choice
So use your best voice
To decide what is best
And forget about the rest

Nothing in life comes with ease
So pick whatever you please
It's up to you to elect
Or whether you reject

This is what I know
Never just go with the flow
Cause it's a very sore sight
When it comes back to bite

 

 

Future Possibilites

As a young child you play pretend.  In pretend land you can be anyone or anything you want to be.  That's the fun of it all.  Nothing is there to stand in your way, life realities simply don't exist.

From the time you can remember people were always asking you, "What do you wanna be when you grow up?".  Of course your answers probably changed with time.  Unless you absolutely were born knowing exactly what you wanted to do or become.  That's not the case for most people unfortunately.  The struggle is real. What do I want to do?  Where do I see myself in 20 years?  Answers are sometimes hard to come by.  I mean after all the possibilities are endless.

Hell, in pretend land you could be the plane, not the pilot.  Everything seems so simple when we are young and full of imagination. But the reality is, you can't be a plane so what are you going to do. The joy of being little and pretending is that you can start to explore what interests you and hopefully help you answer these questions.

Never stop a child from playing or pretending. It's molding their future, their minds, and their ability to make decisions.  Decisions that one day may change their lives.

Lonely

How is it possible to live in a world full of people and yet be lonely? Better yet, a house full? I wish I could by all means answer these questions.

I do, however, have an opinion. I think the answer lies within us. We must first love ourselves and be confident enough not to let anyone make us feel like we aren't worthy enough. Then maybe we could seek the people who would treat us better.

It's one thing to be lonely when you are truly alone but entirely another when you are surrounded. I would much rather be lonely by myself. At least you have a good reason why you feel this way. But to be surrounded by people that could care less is a bit frightening. It would almost be like a deaf person in this world and not a soul knows how to communicate with you. Total silence. 

Lonliness is a hard state when all you want is to feel like the people around you truly care about your feelings, thoughts, and well being. To have some respect for you as a person would be nice.

I sincerely hope that if you're feeling lonely it's because you chose to be alone rather than someone forcing it upon you. If not, please find the courage and confidence to find better surroundings for your peace of mind. 

Simple Things

I think it's the simple things in life that mean the most.  Like time with family, walks in the park, a hug, a smile, and even a simple "thank you".

Life doesn't have to be so over dramatic all the time. Living in a world of stress and chaos is never good for anyone. In today's society, people seem to love drama and anything that causes an uproar. Why? I just don't understand.  Life could be so easy if we just enjoyed the simple things.

So picture this, you are strolling through the park with no cell phone, no interruptions whatsoever, and you actually get to enjoy the scenery.  You get to take in the sights, smells, and even touch nature.  OR... You are sitting on your front porch and your neighbor whom you have never really met comes over and introduces themselves only to find out you have a lot in common.  You become instant friends.

Sounds nice huh? Just simple things can make a difference. We don't need things in our life to complicate it any more than it has to be.  Life is hard enough sometimes, so why welcome all that nonsense in to make it harder.

I know it's easier said than done.  I, myself, have a pretty chaotic life as well as the rest of the world but I welcome "simple".  Maybe we could all give this simple thing a try.  Let's see if we can make a difference. Let's make life simply "simple".

Time's Ticking

I look around me sometimes and I wonder where the time has gone. Seems like yesterday that I was graduating high school and getting my license. Not to mention wandering what I was going to do with my life. 

I'm not sure if life just got away from me or I got away from life. My life sure never turned out like I imagined it would. Actually, it turned out the total opposite of what I had in mind. For instance, I had no desire for marriage or children. Well turns out I am married with four children. I also was never a dog person. Yep you guessed it, I have had several of those too.  Crazy huh?

Now here I sit watching time fastly go by and wondering where the next years will take me. Funny thing is, I'm tired and not sure where I want to be.  Life hasn't been exactly kind at times. It's definitely been exhausting.

My mother always told me the older you get the faster it goes. Boy was she right. Perhaps my last years will bring me much peace and joy.  As for now, I'll accept my time with my family and friends and hope it slows down just a little bit. 

Compelled to Write

I absolutely love writing my blogs.  The only problem with it, I feel compelled every chance I get to create a new and interesting one. The need is in my brain, like I need to tell a story or share something all the time. I just don't want to pester or bother people with my everyday thoughts.

Unfortunately, I can't help myself. I have been known to post a lot of things of Facebook.  Some have even said, "She posts all the time!".  I never claimed if you added me as a friend I would keep posting to a minimum, so why should I keep my blogs that way.  Blogging is like a release for me.  I consider it a gift.

I love to let the world know that they are not alone in whatever it is that they are going through. I want people to see that other people deal with some of the same issues and happiness as they do.  To share is to care, in my opinion.  Let's face it together, so if I write something that I'm going through and you read it, you see I'm just as human as you are.

Again, I love to write and could do it all day.  My world is full of stories, laughter, tears, and heartache just like everyone else's.  Writing makes me happy in a way therapy could probably never touch.  So please don't feel burdened by my words, for they are simply a way of expressing my life as I see it.

Never To Old

No one is ever to old to have their day brightened by someone or something, even if it's a simple stuffed animal.  Just think, you are feeling down or lonely and someone gives you a gift out of the blue.  Doesn't it make you feel better? Doesn't it make the day seem so much brighter?  Of course it does!

Make someones day every once in a while.  Whether it's a single flower or a whole dozen. It doesn't matter because just one simple gesture can mean so much to someone.  Whether it be a friend, co-worker, or spouse just remember that some days are harder than others.  So if you can make just one person smile or feel better, why not do it.

A few years ago, I was having an extremely bad week. Everything was just going wrong.  I went to the grocery store and when I got home I noticed a huge beautiful plant sitting on my deck.  It took me by surprise to say the least.  I remember how pretty the color of the flowers were.  Immediately, I knew who had brought them.  It was a very close friend of mine.  He always knew how to make me smile.  I hadn't even talked to him that day, so he didn't know how bad my day was. Just seeing them, oh my, it brings tears to my eyes as I write this because he has since passed.  I miss him very much.  But something so simple as a plant, made my day.

Please be kind to each other.  One day someone might just make your day.  It doesn't take much, just something simple, perhaps even just a smile.

 

Daily Prompt: Waiting

via Daily Prompt: Waiting

I'm still waiting

On what, I don't know

For something good

For respect

For major changes

For enthusiasm

For self-confidence

For self-love

For true happiness

For attention

On what, I don't know

I'm still waiting

 

Baby's First

We always anticipate all the firsts our baby will have. Some of them are easier to deal with than others. For some teething is either very painful or comes without problems at all. Then there's sitting up, first steps, and so on. All which we welcome with open arms.

Then there's those first we just don't anticipate, leaving them. There's nothing worse than having to leave your child in the hands of total strangers. I say strangers because we don't truly know the people at daycare or school. We like to think we pick the appropriate ones to care for our little ones. The  first day of daycare/school has approached and that dreaded saying bye has come. As you leave your child for the first time, he cries and although you want to, you must be strong. You walk very quickly to your car hoping to hold it in before you totally lose it. Now you have to pull yourself together before you enter your job. Leaving a long day of fear, panic, and sheer agony. Picking up your little one can't come quick enough.

I know it's hard. I had to as a single mother years ago. Now as a grandmother, I had to watch my daughter do the same. I must say, I didn't want them to go, I actually cried. It's taking every ounce of me not to call and check on him every ten minutes. I know we have to do what we have to do but boy is it hard!

So for every first we must endure, nothing prepares us for most. Just remember we have all had to do it. We will survive them. Also whats hard for you might not be as bad for them. Hang in there my new parent friends, it will all be ok.

Family Dinner

via Daily Prompt: Argument

We all know the holidays are coming, which is supposed to bring cheer, good will, and of course family get together. Tis the season!!! I do believe to be jolly is what follows that saying but let’s be real, it isn’t always so.

There’s nothing worse than sitting down to a beautifully prepared meal and an argument breaks out. You are sitting there with the best china, good friends, and family when all of a sudden, your sibling wants to fight. REALLY???? Why can’t you just have a nice meal? Your poor mother is distraught. Why wouldn’t she be? After all, she’s been preparing for days to make sure everything was perfect.

After about ten minutes, words have been said, feelings have been hurt, and someone is crying. And for what? No doubt it was over something so silly and so immature that it could’ve been avoided to begin with. All because of jealousy I’m sure. This is one of the main problems with family. One thinks the other has or gets more than they do. It’s just not fair. Well they have all the attention now.

I really hope the holidays bring you peace and joy. With nothing but love and compliments from each other. Don’t argue. It’s just a waste of time and nobody benefits from it. If anything, the only benefit is a bad time.

Depression

I can’t explain this feeling I have. It’s a feeling of helplessness and worthlessness, like there’s no hope left for tomorrow. My world sometimes just crumbles around me and I can’t stop it.

I pray for God to help me stop this out of control spiral my mind has taken on. I want him to save me from drowning in my own overwhelming thoughts. Like a hurricane hitting the shore and wiping away all that you worked hard to build. BAM! In an instant, all good is gone.

My tears want to come but my mind says “Don’t you dare!”. You just keep containing them because you can’t show your weakness anymore. Don’t you dare tell anyone how you are feeling. They will never understand the depth and severity of your emotions.

When will this end? How long do I have to walk around with a fake smile and pretend everything is good? Knowing all the while, I’m like a ticking time bomb. Ready to explode!

If you have ever felt this way, then you truly understand. You know that until that certain something happens that makes you snap out of it, there’s nothing you can do. You simply hope for a change, a savior, or a miracle. You just want anything to stop this whirlwind of mental terror that you can’t control.

Unfortunately, it’s exhausting. It totally sucks everything out of you. Your energy, enthusiasm, and quality of life are just not what they should or could be. I can only hope that one day my life will be as it should….peaceful.

Keeping Promises

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via Daily Prompt: Promises

What is a promise? To be clear, I have defined it for you.

a declaration or assurance that one will do a particular thing or that a particular thing will happen.

Now that we are clear, let’s talk about promises. How many promises have you made and how many have you kept? Let’s be real, we would all like to think that all promises are made good by the person that made it. Especially if it’s something we’ve been wanting.

Life is never really lived on promises. It’s a good thing because probably over half of promises made get broken. It’s ashame too. People intend to do well by someone and when time comes they can’t produce whatever it was. Thus leads to broken hearts, disappointment, and anger.

The sad part is, after someone repeatedly makes you promises and breaks them, leads to distrust. That’s not a good thing. You eventually begin questioning everything they say to you.  It’s hard to be around someone like that not alone live with someone whom you can’t depend on.

I hope that when you make a promise, it’s within your means to make it happen. There’s nothing better than to have someone deliver. It lifts your spirits and can sometimes make a bad day, better. Keep in mind, you wouldn’t like a broken promise.

Keeping Promises

via Daily Prompt: Promises

What is a promise? To be clear, I have defined it for you.

a declaration or assurance that one will do a particular thing or that a particular thing will happen.

Now that we are clear, let's talk about promises. How many promises have you made and how many have you kept? Let's be real, we would all like to think that all promises are made good by the person that made it. Especially if it's something we've been wanting.

Life is never really lived on promises. It's a good thing because probably over half of promises made get broken. It's ashame too. People intend to do well by someone and when time comes they can't produce whatever it was. Thus leads to broken hearts, disappointment, and anger.

The sad part is, after someone repeatedly makes you promises and breaks them, leads to distrust. That's not a good thing. You eventually begin questioning everything they say to you.  It's hard to be around someone like that not alone live with someone whom you can't depend on.

I hope that when you make a promise, it's within your means to make it happen. There's nothing better than to have someone deliver. It lifts your spirits and can sometimes make a bad day, better. Keep in mind, you wouldn't like a broken promise.

The Big "One"

 

It's so exciting when your baby finally turns one.  You get to plan a big party and invite everyone to share this wonderful moment with you.  You just can't wait to see the face of that little one as he opens up his gifts, eats his birthday cake, and sees all his family. I mean what could be more exciting....right?

Well....I bet you didn't take into consideration that he might be a little confused. After all, he really has no idea what is going on. The fact that all these people are surrounding him, taking pictures, and shoving gifts at him might be a little intimidating. The poor baby probably just wants a nap.

You, however, you are in heaven. You just know this is the best day ever! You are surrounded by all the people who love your baby as much as you do. Everyone is happy and having fun and that's all that matters. Well to you anyway because your little one could care less. He doesn't have a clue as to what in the world is going on.

As he "digs" into the cake, liking it of course, he is now covered from head to toe in icing. A picture perfect scene of a happy baby. Boy what a mess! That's one mess you actually don't mind cleaning up because he is worth it.

The gift part is just a riot. In my many years of experiencing this on any given occasion, there's nothing better than the paper or box of which the gift came in. Unfortunately, after the third gift, they have lost all interest in this whole party thing. You now have become the gift opener. Even then, he already has focused on that one thing and there is no distracting him.

About half way through the party, your little one has had enough. He's tired and cranky. It's nap time!! You now have to wind down the party without your little "star" because as far as he is concerned, you are the one enjoying this the most.  He doesn't have a clue this was all for him in the first place. Thank goodness for the world of pictures.

Depression

I can't explain this feeling I have. It's a feeling of helplessness and worthlessness, like there's no hope left for tomorrow. My world sometimes just crumbles around me and I can't stop it.

I pray for God to help me stop this out of control spiral my mind has taken on. I want him to save me from drowning in my own overwhelming thoughts. Like a hurricane hitting the shore and wiping away all that you worked hard to build. BAM! In an instant, all good is gone.

My tears want to come but my mind says "Don't you dare!". You just keep containing them because you can't show your weakness anymore. Don't you dare tell anyone how you are feeling. They will never understand the depth and severity of your emotions.

When will this end? How long do I have to walk around with a fake smile and pretend everything is good? Knowing all the while, I'm like a ticking time bomb. Ready to explode!

If you have ever felt this way, then you truly understand. You know that until that certain something happens that makes you snap out of it, there's nothing you can do. You simply hope for a change, a savior, or a miracle. You just want anything to stop this whirlwind of mental terror that you can't control.

Unfortunately, it's exhausting. It totally sucks everthing out of you. Your energy, enthusiasm, and quality of life are just not what they should or could be. I can only hope that one day my life will be as it should....peaceful.