Raising My Grandchildren

Let it be known that in today's society that many children are being raised by their grandparents.  How is this fair?  How are we suppose to enjoy our lives after we did our part to raise our own?

Let's face it, we are not as young as we once were and the thought of going through this whole process again scares the hell out of us.  I'm talking changing diapers, waking up in the middle of the night, and chasing toddlers around. Come on, we already raised ours!!  Let's not forget that if the parents don't step up before to long, we are going to have to put them through school. REALLY?

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my grandchildren with all my heart. There is nothing I would not do for them but raising them takes on a whole new meaning.  What happened to let me spoil them and send them home?  Unfortunately, that doesn't exist anymore. The reason being that most parents today are losing their kids to abuse, neglect, or drug use.

Let's elaborate on the drug usage.  Far more children are being taken because of this reason.  The parents are so out of control that not only are their children suffering but their families as well.  I, myself, am living this nightmare.  I am raising my two grandsons due to drugs.   I have four children of my own, to which all but one are over the age of 18.  My grandsons are one and three.  It's like I'm starting over.  It's not the child's fault.  That I am very aware of  but how on earth can so many children be put out because of drugs? What in the world has happened to our society?

I would think that if I were to take a poll at this time,, thousands of grandparents would come forth and tell you the same story as mine.  My child is an addict and I am taking on their responsibility as a parent.  Not just their children but their financial part as well.  We have to play grandparent/parent.  It's not fair to the child or the grandparent.  Grandparents all across our great nation have had to change their whole lives to rear these children.  Most I'm sure have probably had to come out of retirement, take on part-time jobs and seek some sort of help to help with the aid of their grandchildren.

It's a very sad and cruel world that we live in.  To think being raised to grow up, get jobs, and raise a family and see that our children did the same is no longer an option.  Instead what we were taught, the family values, have all been thrown out the window into a world we no longer recognize.  A world so sadistic that one generation is being swallowed into it.  How unfortunate.

I sometimes feel so alone in this matter until I look around and realize that so many grandparents are going through the same thing.  I know this sounds bad but sitting in the court room and seeing others somehow makes me feel better. I shouldn't say better, I should say "joined in an unwanted situation" because even though we are not alone, we don't want to be here either.  The feelings that overtake you are phenomenal.  You are scared, anxious, nervous, bombarded, and just feel "dumped on".  To say anyone truly accepts this is an understatement.  We are a generation of freedom.  Free to travel and do whatever we want.  At least we thought.

Where is the justice in all this?  You can send them to rehab and recovery for their addictions but the damage has already been done.  The kids are tossed about like rag dolls and the grandparents are tossed in a sea of craziness. So even if, and only if, they recover and rebuild their lives can the damage start to heal and repair itself.  From what I have seen, it is very rare.   I would love for every child, parent, and grandparent to have their lives restored but let's face the facts, this can't happen to all of them because so many lives have already been lost. That my friends is the reality.

As I stated above, my daughter is an addict.  I am raising my grandchildren. This is not our first rodeo. She recovered, got an apartment, and a job,  only to reconnect with  the children's father (whom is also an addict) and together they let everything she worked so hard to achieve fly right out the window.  So here we go again.  At what point do we say enough already?  Like I said before, I love these boys and would give them the world but what part of my (our) world do get?

IF you are a grandparent and are raising your grandchildren, please know that you ARE NOT alone. You are in my thoughts and prayers that one day your lives (all included) will return to the normalcy that we once knew.